First Impressions, Buyer Beware.....of yourself

A few decades ago, I had a friend who needed a larger house. She told us about how the kids were getting older and each needed a separate bedroom. She chattered about wanting to be in a particular location - convenient to work and friends. She got downright boring as she droned on and on about hating open floor plans.

On the first day she went house-hunting, she fell in love with, and put a contract on, an open-concept, much smaller house over an hour's commute from her work.

Talk about First Impressions sell.

We, her friends, tried to point out the new house, while wonderful, was not exactly according to spec. Over and over, she replied, they would cope with this and adjust to that and the-other-thing would work out. Bottom line was, she loved and had to have the house.

And, does the story have a happy ending? Sort of. In a way, the ending was happy.

After the family moved in, she discovered (very quickly, like on day one) the commute was both physically draining and kept her away from her family way too much. The kids, now sharing a room that was even smaller than the room in the previous house, escalated their normal sibling disagreements. And, because they were far away from their friends, the complaint levels rose. She hated serving dinner in the space where the TV lurked.

The happy ending part is (a) this happened during a sellers market, so she was able to sell quickly and make enough profit to cover her costs (including the capital gains tax), and, (b) she learned a lot about herself. She thought and recognized what it was about the house that made her fall in love. In her case, she loved the Euro exterior.

So, she added that to her list of house "wants". And, the next house, chosen logically, incorporated this emotional need. The last time I spoke to her, she was still living there.


Buyers, it is possible where choosing a home is concerned, you are your own worst enemy.


Do an Internet search on "first impression" and you will learn First Impressions come from deep within each individual's psyche. They are the culmination of each person's life experiences. They involve feelings of love, lust, and compulsion. When they happen, they stick like epoxy.

To avoid the trap my friend fell into, you need to prepare. Think about what you want, need, do not like, and hate in a house, a yard, a swimming pool, a pond, a neighborhood, a location, a maintenance level, a bathroom, a kitchen, whatever you can think of. If you are list maker, write it all down.

Now, try to trigger your own First Impressions. Log on to the Internet and run searches for house styles, landscape plans, interior decor, whatever you can think of. Run the searches for other parts of the country - do not look at houses you might be tempted to run out and buy.

Look at photos and drawings. Look within yourself for those "love at first sight" feelings. Watch out for "hate at first sight" feelings. Whenever you have a strong reaction to a house, a yard, furnishings, anything...stop and examine that feeling. Can you tell what it is about that photo that made you love or hate it? Put that on the list.

By taking the time to think about and make lists, you diffusing some of your emotional involvement. You are reducing the risk of falling in love with the wrong house.

If you are not alone, this is a great time to make sure you and your significant other are in harmony about the new home. Write the whole list first. Then compare entries and negotiate.

Now, go looking. If/when you get one of those strong emotional reactions, use your practice on the Internet and your list to try to figure out why you feel that way. Assess the feeling and the reason. "I don't like it because it is two bedrooms and a den, but I need three bedrooms with closets and I am not going to install a closet" - this is a valid reason to move along.

"I don't know, I just don't like it" - is an emotional reason. If the house meets all of your needs, go ahead and explore it. Keep thinking about what you need, what you want. Look at your list and deep inside yourself.

If, after you tour the house, your emotional reaction is gone-gone-gone, and you think you like it now, keep it on your shortlist. If you still have negative feelings, drop the house. That is an epoxy feeling - it is not going away.

Don't be surprised if you find yourself saying, "no" to houses you started out loving. That is alright. You are taking care of yourself.

DO feel really, really good about, even love, the home you purchase. You and it may be together for the rest of you life. Good, strong, positive epoxy feelings will help you through the hard times, and enhance the good times.

I think that about covers first impressions..........

Oh, one more thing. Good staging does not try to cover anything up. Good staging does try to invite positive feelings. But, staging cannot make epoxy feelings happen - those come from within you. Staging will help you see how you can live in a house. Staging will show off the best aspects of the house.

I do not believe staging can ever force you to buy a house you do not like. Don't worry about that.

See you tomorrow!